I was hovering over Jordon's side of the bed. He was still curled deep under the covers.
"Huh" he said blindly grasping for his glasses "I don't see it"
"No you need to look in the light" I said
He rolled towards his overhead bed lamp, flipped it on, and turned towards the test.
His eyebrows raised. "I guess I do see it. But its barely there?"
I had been waiting for any whisper of a line for quite some time. His lack of enthusiasm wasn't going to calm though.
"I'm not sure that is enough to go on. Call the doctor" he patronized and rolled back under the covers.
I decided I'd take to the one place advice was plentiful and my query was welcomed. Oh yes.... Google. And but what did I find? Sight after sight saying any semblance of a line absolutely means pregnant.
I messaged my friend Kristin and "snap chatted" it to my friend Rachel. Even drawing an arrow to the faint little line. It was definitely there.
I think they also weren't wanting to get my hopes up. But I knew. I'd felt strange this past week or so. Tired and soreness in my chest. I had felt a little dizzy here and there as well when helping Kristin move the week before. So so tired! I hadn't wanted to get too excited because last month I also had thought for sure it was "THE month" I'd see that line and sadly it was not.
My mom, a free Lutheran pastor,
had brought me to a healing conference. Nervously, I took it all in. Mostly envisioning the looks of crazy most people would give me if they knew what I was up to. I believe in miracles, but was guarded of what went on around me. A sweet woman who made conversation with me discovered we had been hoping for a baby and she asked to pray for me. As she prayed I felt a pop in my low abdomen. I was sure something very strange and miraculous had happened. Later, a middle aged black woman prayed over me without knowing me or speaking to me at all. She immediately put her hands to my low abdomen and slowly pushed me backwards... as if she knew this was the area in my hopes and heart. I'd been left hopeful in the wake of it all.
I wrote the OB doctor I'd been working with and she had me go in to my primary for an HcG test that next afternoon. A torturous wait (and another stronger lined test that am) confirmed I was not crazy. We were officially expecting for the first time in nearly 7 years.
I immediately set to work gathering what I needed to break the exciting news to family and friends. I purchased a shirt for me to tell my mom and sister, Lana. I then bought our daughter Nieva a shirt for Thanksgiving which was just a little over a week away.
We recorded most everyone's reactions. <3 a="" and="" began....="" bought="" deck="" div="" get="" i="" journal="" journey="" nbsp="" nd="" prenatal="" so="" started.="" the="" then="" to="" yoga="">
