Yoga, Acupuncture, and lots of Healthy Living

In the whirl wind that has been the past 6 years of our lives we have learned so much.  We finally feel ready to delve into the world of adding a sibling.  After Nieva was diagnosed with Leukemia at age 2 it didn't seem worth it to add more stress as we fought for 3 more years.

Now here we are.  Nieva is 5.5 and we went to her kindergarten round up tonight.  She is going to be a kindergartner.  I cannot explain what a privilege and blessing this feels like when a mere year ago we were fighting so hard just to get her to breathe on her own.

The tears continued to brim.  Spanish Immersion.  Exactly what her daddy talked about when I carried her in my body so many years ago now.  He talked to her in Spanish almost the whole first year of her life.   She was ecstatic tonight and we couldn't be happier!!

In February, I decided to initiate the process of getting educated about my second pregnancy.  Its super important to me to do everything right.  To be super healthy etc....  I got my yoga teacher certification and start teaching soon (SO exciting!!).  I have also been trying to eat much healthier.

I visited with a midwife who suggested seeing her again to look into issues if conception took more than 6 months.  Being almost 31 now and my history of endometriosis makes this important.  She recommended acupuncture and that was well... very different for me, but still exciting to try.

So here we are..... another adventure may begin soon......  <3 p="">

It saddens me in a lot of ways... that I was unable to keep up with this blog cherishing and highlighting the life of my daughter after being so diligent with recording my pregnancy and delivery. Despite anything I said anywhere or to anyone...I loved being pregnant. I was so excited to be a mother and to have this happy family. Unfortunately, as Ava came into the world I was struggling to start my own business and find my place in a world post college that was expensive and scary. So the days crept by... with me spending too many days in front of the computer and the camera, and not enough days swinging my child in circles, reading bedtime stories, or going on outdoors adventures. Today, May 1, was a strange day indeed. The ground was covered in snow like some some mystical warning of things not quite right. I took Nieva to the Dr. at 9:45am. She had been having a swollen face off and on for several weeks and dark circles under her eyes. She looked pale and tired despite her smiles and always goofy and playful demeanor. Yesterday we went into a pediatric dentist and he confirmed that a tooth abscess was certainly not to blame. I suspected allergies. So after we did a quick blood test, Nieva and I went to pick up an antibiotic for the third week in a row and I drove her to her daycare provider. About 30 minutes after getting back to the house Jordon called frantic. "Are you home?" "Yes" "Good. Stay there" "what's Wrong?" "They think Nieva has Leukemia. We need to get her to the doctor now." From there the day is the blur. We arrived at the hospital. Nieva was in good spirits. Lana, Sarah, and my mom came up as well as Jordon's mom. The doctor took Jordon and I in a private room with Nieva and said a lot of things.... but the most haunting "I need to make it clear that it is 100% certain she has leukemia". "It is malignant." "We will need to start treatment right away." Nothing in a person's life can possibly prepare them for that moment.... where you realize there is a chance you will lose your daughter forever and you may have to watch her slip away with nothing you can do." I know I can be strong though. And that is what I hope to do. I want to hold her every last minute I am able until, I pray, she gets past this and we only have to have a memory of this terrible time. Please pray for Nieva. My greatest and most precious joy in this busy unpredictable and crazy world.

Grand Opening

This past year has been a whirlwind. Life is funny sometimes. How you work so hard for something all the time, but maybe aren't sure why.... This life seems like a game. A game in which you can only succeed at anything by missing out on what is really important- by hiding who you are- and by going against things golden and true. Sometimes I wish life was a fairy tale. You could run away into the country or the mountains and forget about the stress and expectations and buzzing of our electronic bureaucracy. I'd like to think sometime somewhere there was a society where people really put in their days work and then everyone spent the evening together interacting and being close with family and friends instead of watching a tv a computer monitor or having to stress about business or bills. I love what I do, but building a business is hard. Its hard to see my baby girl shipped off day after day without any choice and to still only be scraping by as I build everything up. Just had my Grand Opening. Thankful for the support of so many, but praying for strength as these next few years will be hard as I manage and build. A part of me still longs for grad school, but I don't want to leave all my family and friends. Thanks to everyone for your encouragement, support, and many hours of helping out on the studio or babysitting. I couldn't have done without you. So excited about being at this place in this journey, yet so much more excited for what is to come. Praying it will all be worth this hard work.

-Amanda



Dear Boo-Boo,

I love you so much. On hard days your smile lights my world. I am so excited for busy season to slow down so we can spend this winter doing play dates, visiting family, and having fun more often. Thank you for being so full of energy and happiness. Your constant joy is beyond my comprehension. I pray you never change.

Love, Mommy

February 2011 6 Months Old

Lots of firsts this month. Nieva started sitting up a few weeks ago. She got to start sitting in her high chair this month too which has been great. She entertains herself so much better now and I have been able to catch up on a lot of house work. Thanks to a few friends' organizational suggestions I have been able to get the energy in this house feeling so much better. Business has been good with photography too. I keep perfectly busy imo. Much more and I would feel a little overwhelmed, so that is good. Nieva has been loving her toy drum and bouncy set this month too. While Jordon and I were in Utah Nieva cut a tooth and then a few days later she cut one more. She can stand for periods of time with no help holding onto items and so far dr's appt have been good. She also started eating her first meals (organic one grain oatmeal). She enjoys spitting this month too and sadly thats what happens to most of her solid food thus far (it gets spit and sputtered across the room when she is sick of it lol. Her 6 month appt is tomorrow so will try to update with weight height stats.

-A <3

January 2011

Baby started her second "year" of life. Lana and Steve and Nieva's cousin Sarah came to help celebrate the babys' first new year with us. We took pictures of them and had a fun time. Shortly after I went with Nieva down to my parents to spend about a week. My dad broke his foot so thought we'd go help keep him company. Nieva had fun in Gma and Gpa's jungle swing and even slept part of the night in their playpen (Nieva has never slept in a crib or playpen through the night). In fact at 5 months old she has yet to have spent more than an hour in her crib...once..... aside from that she hasn't lasted more than 5 minutes. She wants to snuggle with Mom and Dad in their King sized bed. I guess I have to admit that now that she is into a routine we both really enjoy her sleeping with us for now. Nieva also took her first vacation towards the end of January. We went out to the black hills and she got to meet my friend, Mary and her almost 3 year old, Stella. She also go to meet our friends Ryan and Annelie and their 10 week old, Chloe. We took Nieva swimming for the first time at an indoor water park in Rapid City. She was a little unsure about it at first, but soon after I think she had a lot of fun. She started scratching at things last month to feel the texture and has continued doing that on everything this month. When she gets tired she makes hoo-ing noises. She's been sleeping a lot better also. usually when we lay down and turn the lights out she goes to sleep and gets up a little after we wake up. She's been getting a little more into a routine also. Usually a few cat naps throughout the day and in bed sleeping around midnight (which probably seems late, but Jordon works til 9 a lot and that way he gets to spend time with her). She has become increasingly warm and smiley and will smile at pretty much anyone that pays attention to her. She is getting really close to sitting up on her own and will scoot a little bit when she is on her tummy if you put your hands behind her. She also tries to get up on her knees when on her tummy. She loves to grab your face when you get close to her. We bought reusable diapers and so far those are going well. She is wearing 6-12 month old pants, but 3-6 month tops. She will often hold her own bottle this month. She did it for the first time right before Christmas.

December 2010

I am trying really hard to give at least a once a month breakdown of Nieva. So fa I appear to be failing. December was a long bad month on my end. I did Christmas mini-shoots that were a big hit, but got quite sick shortly after and ended up being sick for about 3 months in December. First it was bronchitis, then flu symptoms or maybe a reaction to antibiotic, then I was in with a fever and had a large cyst forming under a mole that I had to start antibiotics for again.... ugh.

Anyways...Nieva was great fun in December. She continued to stand and get more and more interactive throughout the month. She also started to giggle more and more and slowly began to get a little more independent. She started rolling both ways and at Christmas even opened her own gift (pulled the paper out of her bag all by herself while standing over her present). She helped us go out and cutdown our tree and then we video taped us decorating the tree with her. That will be fun to look back at someday. She got a bouncer from my parents that she enjoyed for short bouts. She also decided she loved things that crunch and crinkle (she went crazy over a cheetos bag). She also started watching very carefully as we ate. She continues to get more curious about food. They told us at our 4 month appt that since nursing is going good though there is no reason to start solids until closer to 6 months so as of now that is the plan. She also started drooling excessively... not real fun, but somewhat humorous. Still no teeth however :0 ) I will soon upload some pictures from December. :0 )

Grateful

Today I am feeling grateful. Grateful that I am able to go through each day without a close loved one or myself experiencing severe pain, bad health, or loss. So many people I know right now have a loved one with a serious ailment. I don't understand why sickness and loss must pervade this world, or why so many have to experience sorrow and suffering. I don't understand why some get to live and some have to die. I cannot understand these things, but I know that we are all part of something so much bigger than ourselves. If we can fathom even for an instant how minute our existence in this life is compared to the eternity we can experience thereafter, we can perhaps begin to understand what greater things lie ahead for us. "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord".

I am so incredibly grateful to have my father be cancer free for about 15 years now. My dad is amazing and I can't imagine my life without him. I know I have never told him this, but I look up to him so much in everything I do and I know many of my friends and acquaintances have said the like. He has always been an incredible role model to m and my sisters through his relentless commitment to my mom, our family, our church, and my home town community. I feel so incredibly blessed to have two healthy parents, and even more amazingly to have four healthy living grandparents. My husband lost his father two years ago to cancer and has no grandparents still living. I can't understand this. It doesn't seem fair to him.

I know that life will not always be perfect for me (nor has it been), but I am very thankful for now... a time when my immediate family is healthy. I hope I get many more years to spend with them all because I love them all very much.

Please keep anyone you know that may be suffering from a loss or serious illness right now in your prayers... and don't forget to give praise to God for what IS good. Even in the shadows there is light.

-A <3

P.S. Sorry if that all seemed random and that... none of it was about Nieva directly (even though this blog is supposed to be about her).... but thoughts are thoughts and this is just what felt right for this tonight.